This book should be required reading for anyone who’s expecting or has a child under age 5. Plain and simple, this is the best collection of parenting advice one can imagine, because it’s completely research-based. I have picked 5 tips from this rich book to give you an idea what can you anticipate from the complete book.
For Mommies:
Tip 1: Exercise
Exercise impact on prenatal brain development
a) Easier Birth: Less risk of hypoxia and brain damage
b) Movement: Good for brain development of foetus
c) Buffers against Stress because of the release of chemicals called endorphins while exercising . These endorphins interact with the receptors in the brain that reduce one’s perception of pain. Endorphins also trigger a positive feeling in the body, similar to that of morphine.
Tip 2: Avoid Toxic Stress
Toxic stress impact on prenatal brain development in following manner
- Smaller Brain Size
- Lower IQ
- Temperament ( more easily irritable)
- Difficulty to focus
- Slow Language Development
Stressed mom = stressed baby, with the prescription for moms of, “Get more pedicures.”
Tip3: Weight Gain & Nutrition
A Baby’s IQ is proportional to his/her brain’s volume which in turn is dependent on Baby’s birth weight and healthy weight gain during pregnancy is linked to the baby’s birth weight. Thus, mothers should be mindful of their weight gain during pregnancy and take absolute care of her Nutrition as it has severe impact on prenatal brain development. Do take folic acid and Omega-3 supplements but post consultation with your doctor.
Tips 4: For your Kids:
The best thing you can do to increase your child’s IQ is to provide love and attentive guidance. A child’s brain’s day job is not learning, it is surviving. Therefore, it is imperative that their home is an environment of safety. If your child feels safe, her brain will be freed up to focus on learning and developing.
Four things proven to improve intelligence:
- Breastfeeding for a year: According to study after study, breastfed babies score higher on cognitive tests and get better grades.
- Talking to your baby: Speak to your child as often as you can. The correlation between talking to your child and increasing her IQ is one of the most well-established findings in developmental literature. The gold standard is 2100 words per hour; this is a moderate rate of conversation. They also learn through interaction: look at your infant while talking, imitate her vocalizations, laughter and facial expressions.
- Guided play: Allow your child to use her imagination and pretend while following certain rules. This kind of play is called Mature Dramatic Play, or MDP. An example of MDP is where a child imagines she is a soldier and acts as if she is a soldier, but still has to follow the “rules” of a soldier. Kids may argue until they agree on the rules. Several hours of MDP each day is needed in order to see benefits.
- Praise effort, not intelligence: Praising effort encourages a child to continue trying without getting discouraged; praising intelligence can cause your child to perceive mistakes as personal failures. When you praise intelligence, your child believes that success/failure is simply due to some static ability. They become more concerned with looking smart than actually learning and trying. When you praise effort, children learn they can remedy mistakes by trying harder.
Tip 5: On marriage :
Since 80% of couples report a drop in marital satisfaction after the birth of the first baby, and 70% of issues are unresolvable, the most important thing couples can do is learn to empathize.
Dissatisfaction usually starts with the mother and then shifts to the father. A couple’s hostile interactions increase sharply during baby’s first year. This has serious consequences for the baby’s brain. Sustained exposure to hostility can erode a baby’s IQ and ability to handle stress. An infant’s need for caregiver stability is so strong, the conflict will profoundly impact her developing self. If marital hostility continues, children are at greater risk for anxiety disorders and depression. Children of divorced homes are 25% more likely to abuse drugs at a young age, do poorly in school, get pregnant out of wedlock, and are twice as likely to get divorced themselves.
Author pointed out that fighting in front of kids is less damaging than the lack of reconciliation they observe. Many couples fight in front of their kids and reconcile in private; this skews kids’ perceptions. Parents who practice making up after a fight, deliberately and explicitly, allow their children to model both how to fight fair and how to make up.
Main sources of parental conflict:
- Sleep loss: Lack of sleep makes you more irritable and unable to regulate emotions.
- Social isolation: This may lead to clinical depression. With so little time or energy, social interaction is first to go.
- Unequal workload: Studies show women (both working and stay-at-home moms) are saddled with the brunt of housework. A typical stay-at-home mom works 94.4 hours per week; most men don’t work that much. This may explain why the increase in hostile interactions usually starts with the woman and spreads to the man.
- Depression: 10-20% of women experience postpartum depression. If left untreated, PPD will debilitate the lively, interactive bonds that are supposed to develop between parent and child. These children become more insecure, socially inhibited, timid and passive.
Couples who incorporate empathy regularly see stellar results. According to one study, if the wife felt she was being heard by her husband, the couple was virtually divorce-proof.
Other tips
- Get a social structure in place before baby comes: parenting groups, friends, etc.
- Begin regular “check-in” times with each other in the morning and afternoon.
- Schedule sex regularly, but also try to incorporate spontaneous intimacy.
- Balance housework until you’re both satisfied.
- Engage in active-constructive behaviors: The best marriages have a ratio of 5:1 of active-constructive versus toxic-conflict interactions.
To read the book, Brain Rules for Baby, Click on the book to check out.
Stay blessed and keep Rocking!