“Surrounded by Idiots” is a book written by Swedish author Thomas Erikson that explores the different personality types and communication styles of people using the DISC model.
Everything you say to a person is filtered through his frames of reference, biases, and preconceived ideas. What remains is ultimately the message that he understands. For many different reasons, he can interpret what you want to convey in a totally different way than you intended. What is actually understood will, naturally, vary depending on who you are speaking to, but it is very rare that the entire message gets through exactly as you conceived it in your mind.
It may feel depressing knowing that you have so little control over what your listener understands. No matter how much sense you would like to knock into the other person’s head, there’s not that much you can do about it. This is one of the many challenges of communication. You simply can’t change how the listener functions. However, most people are aware of and sensitive to how they want to be treated. By adjusting yourself to how other people want to be treated, you become more effective in your communication. This book is all about identifying the personality types of your listeners and suggesting how to tailor fit your communication to persuade or convey your point effectively.
The book’s main idea is that everyone can be divided into one of four different personality types:
Dominant Personality Type
Strengths:
- Confident: Dominant people are often self-assured and believe in their abilities and decisions.
- Decisive: They are good at making quick decisions and taking action when necessary.
- Goal-oriented: They are focused on achieving their objectives and are willing to take risks to get there.
- Independent: Dominant people are often self-reliant and don’t need a lot of guidance or direction.
Weaknesses:
- Impatient: They can become frustrated with slow progress and may want to move on to the next task quickly.
- Dominating: They can sometimes be perceived as controlling or overbearing.
- Competitive: They may have a tendency to view everything as a competition and can become overly competitive in their approach.
- Insensitive: They can be blunt and direct in their communication, which can be perceived as insensitive or rude.
Communication styles:
- Direct: Dominant people tend to communicate in a straightforward and no-nonsense manner.
- Confident: They often speak with authority and conviction, as they believe in their own abilities and decisions.
- Focused: They stay on task and get to the point quickly, without a lot of small talk or chit-chat.
- Results-oriented: They prioritize outcomes over relationships and may come across as cold or indifferent.
Behavior patterns:
- Take charge: Dominant people often take the lead in group situations and are comfortable making decisions for others.
- Get things done: They are results-driven and focused on achieving their goals, often at the expense of personal relationships.
- Take risks: They are not afraid to take calculated risks to achieve their objectives.
- Can be confrontational: They may not shy away from conflict and can be confrontational if they feel their goals or objectives are being threatened.
Inspiring Personality Type
Strengths:
- Enthusiastic: Influential people are often upbeat, energetic, and positive.
- Charismatic: They have a natural ability to connect with people and are often well-liked.
- Creative: They have a tendency to think outside the box and come up with new and innovative ideas.
- Persuasive: They are good at convincing others to see things their way and can be very persuasive.
Weaknesses:
- Impulsive: Influential people can be impulsive and may act on a whim without thinking through the consequences.
- Disorganized: They may struggle with staying organized and may have a tendency to be forgetful or scattered.
- Overly talkative: They can be chatty and may dominate conversations, which can be perceived as self-centered or inconsiderate.
- Superficial: They may focus too much on surface-level interactions and may struggle with deeper, more meaningful connections.
Communication styles:
- Engaging: Influential people are often engaging and charismatic in their communication.
- Expressive: They use gestures and facial expressions to convey their message and may be prone to exaggeration.
- Persuasive: They are good at convincing others to see things their way and may use emotional appeals to make their point.
- Storytelling: They often use stories or anecdotes to illustrate their points and make their message more engaging.
Behavior patterns:
- Social: Influential people enjoy socializing and being around others.
- Risk-takers: They are willing to take risks and try new things.
- Creative: They often have a creative side and may enjoy hobbies such as music, art, or writing.
- Seek attention: They enjoy being the center of attention and may crave validation and recognition from others.
Stable Personality Type
Strengths:
- Reliable: Steady people are often dependable and consistent.
- Patient: They have a high level of tolerance and can remain calm and composed even in stressful situations.
- Supportive: They are good listeners and are often supportive of others.
- Consensus builders: They often seek to find common ground and build consensus among people.
Weaknesses:
- Indecisive: Steady people may struggle with making decisions and may require more time to think things through.
- Conflict-avoidant: They may have a tendency to avoid conflict, which can lead to unresolved issues.
- Stubborn: Once they have made a decision, they may be resistant to change or may struggle to consider alternative viewpoints.
- People-pleasers: They may prioritize pleasing others over their own needs or desires.
Communication styles:
- Patient: They tend to be good listeners and may take more time to process information before responding.
- Supportive: They may offer encouragement and praise to others in their communication.
- Non-confrontational: They tend to avoid conflict and may shy away from difficult conversations.
- Consensus builders: They often seek to find common ground and build consensus among people.
Behavior patterns:
- Dependable: Steady people are often reliable and consistent in their behavior.
- Reserved: They may be more introverted and prefer to spend time alone or with a small group of close friends.
- Consistent: They often have a routine and may prefer stability and predictability in their lives.
- People-pleasers: They may prioritize pleasing others over their own needs or desires, which can lead to resentment or burnout.
Analytical Personality Type
Strengths:
- Organized: Conscientious people are often well-organized and can manage their time effectively.
- Detail-oriented: They pay attention to details and strive for accuracy.
- Reliable: They are often dependable and can be counted on to follow through on commitments.
- Responsible: They take their obligations seriously and are accountable for their actions.
Weaknesses:
- Perfectionist: They may have high standards and be overly critical of themselves and others.
- Inflexible: They may struggle with change or deviations from their plans and routines.
- Pessimistic: They may be prone to worry and may struggle to see the positive in situations.
- Workaholic: They may have a tendency to prioritize work over other aspects of their lives.
Communication styles:
- Precise: Conscientious people tend to be clear and precise in their communication.
- Formal: They may use formal language and be more reserved in their communication style.
- Detail-oriented: They may focus on details and be specific in their communication.
- Respectful: They tend to show respect and consideration for others in their communication.
Behavior patterns:
- Hard-working: Conscientious people often work hard and are dedicated to achieving their goals.
- Rule-following: They tend to follow rules and adhere to social norms.
- Routine-driven: They often have a routine and may prefer stability and predictability in their lives.
- Goal-oriented: They tend to set goals and work towards achieving them.
According to the author, understanding these personality types can help you communicate effectively with others, as well as navigate challenging situations and relationships.
Here are some general tips for communicating with each personality type as per this book:
Dominant personality type:
- Be direct and to the point.
- Focus on results and practical solutions.
- Avoid small talk or too much detail.
- Be confident and assertive, but avoid being confrontational.
- Respect their time and independence.
Inspiring personality type:
- Be friendly and personable.
- Use humor and storytelling to engage them.
- Focus on the big picture and possibilities.
- Allow for flexibility and spontaneity.
- Show appreciation and recognition for their contributions.
Stable personality type:
- Be patient and avoid rushing them.
- Show empathy and understanding.
- Provide clear instructions and details.
- Avoid confrontations or aggression.
- Allow time for reflection and processing.
Analytical personality type:
- Be prepared and organized.
- Provide clear expectations and guidelines.
- Focus on accuracy and attention to detail.
- Avoid being too casual or informal.
- Show respect and appreciation for their work.
It’s important to remember that these are generalizations and not every person with a particular personality type will respond to the same communication style. The key is to be adaptable and adjust your communication style to the person you are communicating with.
Overall, “Surrounded by Idiots” is a practical guide for improving communication and relationships, based on the idea that everyone has a unique communication style that can be better understood and leveraged for positive outcomes.